Student Writing Samples
The Stack the Deck Writing Program P.O. Box 5352 Chicago, IL 60680 Phone: 1-312-675-1000 and 1-800-253-5737 Fax: 1-312-765-0453 Email: stackthedeck@sbcglobal.net
Publishing Student Writing from Open the Deck

On the Spot Report Gordy Gray from Cadillac, Michigan, wrote this paper based on the first writing assignment in Open. The Think Sheet helped him focus on content and organization. "Santa" Saves the Day          One day in early December, with Christmas rapidly approaching, I was at Best Buy (a large video and electronics store) looking for another item for my Christmas list. The place was seething with people. The store was peppered with flashing Christmas lights and red and green decorations. Kids were dragging around their parents to show them their choices and whining when they were told no. The grownups were groaning over the price of things while trying to keep up with their kids.          The owner and employees were just as busy. The owner was dressed up as Santa and the line was half the length of the store. Employees were listening to price complaints, helping people finds things, and collecting huge amounts of money. It was the perfect time for a robbery.          I wouldn't have noticed the robbers if I didn't bump into one. They had entered nonchalantly, without attracting much attention. They pretended to look at some of the videos, but they were really working their way over to the cash registers. I wouldn't have given it a second thought if it weren't for their appearance. The three of them were all tall and fairly meaty, maybe 6'2'' and at least 220 pounds each. They all had long hair and hats hiding their faces. Their shirts were torn and they were covered with nasty scars.          The strange men worked their way behind the cash registers and one pulled out a gun. Once the crowd realized what was happening, chaos broke out. I dived in an aisle and peeked around the corner. Everyone was fighting to get a safe spot. One man dove into a game rack so hard he started bleeding. The robbers looked as if they were in complete control.          "Nobody try anything and this cashier will live to see another day," one robber growled with a gun to the cashier's head.          Then I noticed Santa (the owner) sneaking cautiously up to the man with the gun. He had a video rack above his head and was waving it around menacingly. He hit the man with a glancing blow and grabbed the gun. The men ran away before the police arrived.          Afterwards, the customers were still shaky, but Santa was even worse because his store was a disaster. The customers had managed to knock down almost every display and merchandise rack in the store. Santa was barking out orders to everyone, even the customers that were still hanging around. It'll be a long night for the janitors! Note the opening paragraphs and the concluding sentence. Great word choice -- "seething, " "peppered," "meaty," etc.

Back To Previous Page

Labor Saving Devices | Book Catalog | Writing Workshops | Shop Online Writing Samples | Teaching Tips | News | Home

Copyright © 2001, Stack the Deck Writing Program. All Rights Reserved.